Oh! I feel like throwing up!

I went to go get some purple thread at Wal*Mart, for my Ren. Fest costume Mum is making me, and I did a really stupid thing. To get into the store parking lot, from the way I was going, you have to make a left hand turn. Only thing is, while there is a turn lane there is no light for the turn lane. You have to go on green, when there is no on coming traffic in your way. No one had been able to go, since traffic was very heavy at this time, during the green light but all of the sudden, the two cars ahead of me went. Me, following the 'crowd' went along with them. Turns out, we were going on our red, and the green for traffic out of the store {does this make sense? There is a light for the outbound traffic from the store, but not inbound traffic for the store?} It was not until I was right under the light, and saw the light, and the cars to my left started to honk at me, that I realized I was doing an illigal turn. So now I feel like puking! I hate it when I do something like that, I didnt really mean to at all. I just did not want the ppl behind me mad because I was not moving, and I did not pay near enough attention. I am shaking. And that must have happened oh at least a half an hour ago. But then again, there was also the fact that I was in pain while driving, so that must have something to do with my shakes. My seat still has to be back a bit while I drive {or even ride.} My back is not well enough to drive normally. grr and oy!
So that is the 'fun' of the day. I have come to the conclusion that this entire ordeal, of both David and I suffering from back problems and undergoing surgery, has made me even more emotional that I use to be. I cry at even more than I use to. It is really worrying me for my return to work. An event I have nightmares about almost every night. No way do I feel ready to go back yet, and I can not seem to convince myself to remember that it is still a month before I have to return. It is just that, before all this, I was able to handle so much stress and junk. Now, so much makes me cry and break down and I am just thinking I am becoming weak! Phisically I know I am now. That is to be expected I guess, though I still do not like it. I am feeling all around weak, and like it not the least bit!Oy, Im a mess! And all this from a tiny cut in my back! What does this mean for childbirth?? I shudder to think. Mum, I thought you were kidding when you said they were going to have to put me out for it, I am begining to think you are not so far off! heh. Guess I have alot of growing up to do between now and then!!??
Ok, I think my little pitty party is over for now!